Raining cats, dogs, and Kira's
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Raining cats, dogs, and Kira's
by Liz August 18th 2010, 23:02
Original
story:
Raining cats, dogs and mutants
By Todd Fan
Revised
story:
Raining cats, dogs, and Kira’s
Disclaimer: "I may be a beginner
at some things, but I've got a black belt in shopping!"
The movie I am slaughtering with
little (okay more like no) mercy this time is the Disney classic 'Oliver and
Company', featuring guest appearances by Twarry, B, Shadow, and some O.C’s!
:"...Wouldn't that make this
another parody of a parody", asks Twarry, "...as seen as Oliver and
Company is based on Oliver twist?"
...For that insolence, you're the
director!
"...But", protests Twarry.
I have spoken! Now, go get your
animal-making gizmo ready.
"Do we have to be zapped
with that machine?", asks Near, "...I mean, couldn't L just make it look
like we're animals?"
No, L has a role in the parody, so
there...plus, this is more fun.
"Okay, all you animal people,
stand still and I'll zap you", says Twarry, holding up a funny looking
gizmo
"This is reversible...right?",
asks Near.
"Err...maybe", says Twarry,
"SAY CHEESE!"
ACT 1 - Give a kitten a home
We open on L.A, where we head off
into the city, as Halle sings in the background
"Great, I get to sing",
sighs Halle.
Now it's always once upon a time
in Los Angeles,
It's a big old, bad old, tough old
town, it's true
But beginnings are contagious
there
They're always setting stages
there
They're always turnin' pages there
for you.
We see a small box with 'kittens for
sale' above it. Inside, are Near, Michelle*, Dimitri**, Jessamine***, Capone****,
and Iggy*****, all changed into kittens, sitting looking sad
"You're supposed to be
frolicking kittens", snaps Twarry, "now FROLIC!"
"I'm frolicking, I'm frolicking,
seesh!", snaps Near
"Mew, meow , meow", says
Michelle dryly.
"Awwwwwww!", says Halle,
"I want the Dimitri kitten, I can flush him down the toilet"
"Come here, Halle", smirks
Dimitri, "I'll give you rabies"
'Aint it great the way it all begins
in Los Angeles?
Right away you're making time and
making friends
No one cares where you were
yesterday
If they pick you out you're on
your way
To a once upon a time that never
ends
The 'kittens' start to be chosen by
new owners one by one...except for Near, who is ignored
"But I'm the cutest!",
protests Near, "Look at my little whiskers and furry feet!"
So Near, now, don't be shy
Get out there and go and try
Believing that you're the guy
they're dying to see
'Cause a dream's no crime
For once upon a time
Once upon a time in Los Angeles
Michelle is the last kitten to be
taken, leaving Near alone, it suddenly turns to night time, where thunderstorm
is drenching everything
"Rain, rain, rainy, rain,
rain!", giggles Ryuk drunkenly as he flies around.
"…Who let him at the liqueur
cabinet again?", sighs Twarry.
The sign above the kitten box is
saying the Near is for free. Poor little Near scrunches up in his box, trying
to get shelter from the rain and wind.
If it's always once upon a time in
Los Angeles
Why does nightfall find you
feeling so alone?
How can anyone stay starry eyed
When it's raining cats and dogs
outside
And the rain is saying 'now you're
on your own'?
The cardboard box starts to fill with
water as Near mews helplessly to passers-by who ignore him
"Frightened, cold, wet kitten
here", calls Near, "helloooo people!".
As he leans onto the side of his
cardboard box, it collapses with the strain of water. He starts to skid towards
a drain, luckily, a piece of the box clogs it just long enough for him to
scramble back onto the pavement
So Near, now, don't be scared
Though yesterday no one cared
They're getting your place
prepared
Where you wanna be
Keep your dream alive
Dreaming is still how the strong
survive
Once upon a time in Los Angeles
Near dejectedly starts to trudge
along, until he is faced by Lester, Gevanni and Roger, now transformed into
dogs
"I should be a cat!",
mutters Lester.
"You're a dog, get over
it", says Twarry simply.
They snarl at Near and chase him over
a fence. Near leaps onto a wheel of a tractor, hiding from the lightning. He
gives a small sad sigh, washes his paw and settles down to sleep
"Woe is me, the poor little
kitten", sobs Near.
Keep your dream alive
Dreaming is still how the strong
survive
Once upon a time in Los Angeles
Keep your dream alive
Dreaming is still how the strong
survive
Once upon a time in Los Angeles
And it's always once upon a time
in Los Angeles...
"", say the cast in unison.
"If I'm this cute, how come I
can't get a girlfriend?", asks Near.
*- Michelle; Daughter of Mello and Matt
**- Dimitri; Son of Near and Gevanni
***-Jessamine; Daughter of L and Light
****-Capone; Son of Mello and Matt
*****-Iggy; Daughter of Near and Gevanni
story:
Raining cats, dogs and mutants
By Todd Fan
Revised
story:
Raining cats, dogs, and Kira’s
Disclaimer: "I may be a beginner
at some things, but I've got a black belt in shopping!"
The movie I am slaughtering with
little (okay more like no) mercy this time is the Disney classic 'Oliver and
Company', featuring guest appearances by Twarry, B, Shadow, and some O.C’s!
:"...Wouldn't that make this
another parody of a parody", asks Twarry, "...as seen as Oliver and
Company is based on Oliver twist?"
...For that insolence, you're the
director!
"...But", protests Twarry.
I have spoken! Now, go get your
animal-making gizmo ready.
"Do we have to be zapped
with that machine?", asks Near, "...I mean, couldn't L just make it look
like we're animals?"
No, L has a role in the parody, so
there...plus, this is more fun.
"Okay, all you animal people,
stand still and I'll zap you", says Twarry, holding up a funny looking
gizmo
"This is reversible...right?",
asks Near.
"Err...maybe", says Twarry,
"SAY CHEESE!"
ACT 1 - Give a kitten a home
We open on L.A, where we head off
into the city, as Halle sings in the background
"Great, I get to sing",
sighs Halle.
Now it's always once upon a time
in Los Angeles,
It's a big old, bad old, tough old
town, it's true
But beginnings are contagious
there
They're always setting stages
there
They're always turnin' pages there
for you.
We see a small box with 'kittens for
sale' above it. Inside, are Near, Michelle*, Dimitri**, Jessamine***, Capone****,
and Iggy*****, all changed into kittens, sitting looking sad
"You're supposed to be
frolicking kittens", snaps Twarry, "now FROLIC!"
"I'm frolicking, I'm frolicking,
seesh!", snaps Near
"Mew, meow , meow", says
Michelle dryly.
"Awwwwwww!", says Halle,
"I want the Dimitri kitten, I can flush him down the toilet"
"Come here, Halle", smirks
Dimitri, "I'll give you rabies"
'Aint it great the way it all begins
in Los Angeles?
Right away you're making time and
making friends
No one cares where you were
yesterday
If they pick you out you're on
your way
To a once upon a time that never
ends
The 'kittens' start to be chosen by
new owners one by one...except for Near, who is ignored
"But I'm the cutest!",
protests Near, "Look at my little whiskers and furry feet!"
So Near, now, don't be shy
Get out there and go and try
Believing that you're the guy
they're dying to see
'Cause a dream's no crime
For once upon a time
Once upon a time in Los Angeles
Michelle is the last kitten to be
taken, leaving Near alone, it suddenly turns to night time, where thunderstorm
is drenching everything
"Rain, rain, rainy, rain,
rain!", giggles Ryuk drunkenly as he flies around.
"…Who let him at the liqueur
cabinet again?", sighs Twarry.
The sign above the kitten box is
saying the Near is for free. Poor little Near scrunches up in his box, trying
to get shelter from the rain and wind.
If it's always once upon a time in
Los Angeles
Why does nightfall find you
feeling so alone?
How can anyone stay starry eyed
When it's raining cats and dogs
outside
And the rain is saying 'now you're
on your own'?
The cardboard box starts to fill with
water as Near mews helplessly to passers-by who ignore him
"Frightened, cold, wet kitten
here", calls Near, "helloooo people!".
As he leans onto the side of his
cardboard box, it collapses with the strain of water. He starts to skid towards
a drain, luckily, a piece of the box clogs it just long enough for him to
scramble back onto the pavement
So Near, now, don't be scared
Though yesterday no one cared
They're getting your place
prepared
Where you wanna be
Keep your dream alive
Dreaming is still how the strong
survive
Once upon a time in Los Angeles
Near dejectedly starts to trudge
along, until he is faced by Lester, Gevanni and Roger, now transformed into
dogs
"I should be a cat!",
mutters Lester.
"You're a dog, get over
it", says Twarry simply.
They snarl at Near and chase him over
a fence. Near leaps onto a wheel of a tractor, hiding from the lightning. He
gives a small sad sigh, washes his paw and settles down to sleep
"Woe is me, the poor little
kitten", sobs Near.
Keep your dream alive
Dreaming is still how the strong
survive
Once upon a time in Los Angeles
Keep your dream alive
Dreaming is still how the strong
survive
Once upon a time in Los Angeles
And it's always once upon a time
in Los Angeles...
"", say the cast in unison.
"If I'm this cute, how come I
can't get a girlfriend?", asks Near.
*- Michelle; Daughter of Mello and Matt
**- Dimitri; Son of Near and Gevanni
***-Jessamine; Daughter of L and Light
****-Capone; Son of Mello and Matt
*****-Iggy; Daughter of Near and Gevanni
Liz- Admin
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Age : 25 -
Re: Raining cats, dogs, and Kira's
by BB+B August 18th 2010, 23:07
............................That was......uh....
-sighs-
A little disturbing but yet funny. xD
-sighs-
A little disturbing but yet funny. xD
BB+B- Posts : 1425
Join date : 2010-08-16
Liz- Admin
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Join date : 2010-08-16
Age : 25 -
Re: Raining cats, dogs, and Kira's
by BB+B August 18th 2010, 23:11
Ah, crap....I hope I'm not in it with Beyond. DX I'm scared to find out now. =.= But yet it's a very adorable story.
BB+B- Posts : 1425
Join date : 2010-08-16
Re: Raining cats, dogs, and Kira's
by Liz August 18th 2010, 23:16
You are. You and Beyond are in there as Roscoe and DeSoto. :3
Liz- Admin
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Join date : 2010-08-16
Age : 25 -
Re: Raining cats, dogs, and Kira's
by BB+B August 18th 2010, 23:22
Fuck. Just don't make Beyond kill himself, k? I still need him for the year.
BB+B- Posts : 1425
Join date : 2010-08-16
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Join date : 2010-08-16
Age : 25 -
Re: Raining cats, dogs, and Kira's
by Liz August 18th 2010, 23:41
Disclaimer: "The sea monkey has my money"
Okay, due to increasing hostilities in our cast from being turned into
animals, I'm going to do something never before...I'm calling in a Co Director.
"What! None of the other directors had a 'co' director!", snorts Twarry.
None of the other directors had to deal with an almost all animal cast,
dear.
"Jive Turkey", snaps Twarry, "So who am I supposed to be
working with?"
"Hello...partner!", grins Shadow.
"...You really hate me don't you, Seot?", asks Twarry, "I
mean, you make me suffer all the time!"
Twarreth, I don't hate you...
"Yes you do!", snaps Twarry, "You've always liked the redhead
better, admit it!"
Well, I am MATT Fan.
"I win, you lose, neh neh neh neh neh neh!", chants Matt
"Shut up and get to your place", growls Twarry, "at least she
likes internet Twarry better than manga You. Manga Matt scares the crap out of
her"
"…..You're going to make me cry", sniffles Matt.
ACT 2 - Old Bluey
The next morning, Near is still curled up on the tractor tire when the
tractor suddenly starts up, the wheel moving and hurling Near off
"Argggg!", screams near, "Kitten abuse again!"
Near hides under a Los Angeles Dodgers cap while the tractor drives away,
before peeking out and stepping into the busy Las Vegas morning street. A dude
walks past carrying a stereo, listening to rap music. Near starts to dance
after him, before tripping up. Various Los Angeles residents mill around, not
noticing the small kitten at their feet.
"Am I invisible or something!", asks Near
Near follows a crowd towards a street crossing when screeching tires are
heard and he dashes back across to the sidewalk. He falls down again, almost
being trampled by feet)
"'S'cuse me, can't you see I'm pushing something here?", snaps Aizawa,
walking by pushing a hot dog cart, "Oh man, this is the best role, ever!
Just breathe in all that junk food!"
"….We're going tae end this parody with a very fat detective",
muses Shadow.
"Maybe we can poke him with sticks?", shrugs Twarry.
"Come on folks, step right up! Get your hot dogs", shouts Aizawa,
"The best hot dogs in Los Angles!"
Near sniffs the air and runs over to the cart. Aizawa sees him and shoos him
away
"Hey, get out of here. Shoo! Go on, kitty!", he snaps, "MY
food!"
Near sighs dejectedly and pads away. Meanwhile, on the other side of the
street, Mello is walking along the road, now transformed into a blonde and
white pit bull, wearing a black leather studded harness and a black leather
bandana.
"At least it wasn't a Chihuahua", sighs Mello.
He carries on walking, Takeda, now a little hairy dog, walking past him on a
leash held by Halle. He pauses and jumps onto the top of a taxi cab. He starts
to blow kisses at her
"Hiya", he says flirtatiously.
Takeda stares at him before turning her nose up and trotting off with Halle
"Not a chance, you leather wearing freak!", she says.
"La-de-da", mocks Mello.
He pauses, hearing Aizawa shouting, he turns to see Near hanging onto
Aizawa's leg as he desperately tries to shake him off
"Well well. Looks like Izzy's got a visitor", he says, "Could
be time for the Mel to turn this into a total cat-astrophe."
"Har de har har", says Near dryly, "you are the king of
puns"
"Get offa me, you overgrown rat!", snaps Aizawa, shaking his leg.
"Look who's talking!", snaps Near.
He kicks out his foot, sending Near into a trash can in an alley, causing a
banana peel to fall on his head.
"Oooooh you sure picked the wrong guy to get hot dogs from, kid",
says Mello.
Near shakes the banana skin off and looks up to see Mello lying on top of a
trashcan. He backs away quickly...trying to look fierce
"Get away from me!", he warns, bearing his tiny little kitten
teeth.
"Awww how could anything so cute be fierce?", chuckles Mello,
"Whoah. Chill out, man, I don't eat cats, it's too much fur. I've been
watching you and I think you're in serious need of some professional
guidance"
He jumps off the trashcan and Near falls into a trash can lid. Mello simply
lies down by it casually
"Now what do ya say we team up and change Old Izzy's mind about sharing
some of those hot-dogs?", he grins.
"I'm not going back there again", mutters Near sadly.
He turns to walk away, but Todd swings the trash can lid so he's facing him
again
"Hey. It'd be a snap, kid. I'm an expert at these things", he
says, "All you gotta do is learn some moves"
"...Moves?", asks Near
"You know, tempo. Ooo-cha-ba. A rhythm", says Mello, "This
city's got a beat. Ya gotta hook into it"
"Have you any idea how much like Twarry you're sounding?", asks
Near, arching a brow.
"What's wrong with the way I speak, Jive Turkey!", snaps Twarry
"Case in point", says Near.
"And once you got the beat, you can do anything", says Mello.
"I can?", asks Near hopefully.
"Absitively posolutely", grins Mello.
"...Freak", mutters Near.
Mello heads off down the alley, Near following him. Mello points to where
Aizawa is preparing a hot-dog for someone in the street
"The guy you see before you is affectionately known as 'Old Izzy",
he says, "A well known enemy of the four-legged world"
"Am not!", snaps Aizawa, "I donate to ASPCA!"
"Our mission, cat, is to liberate those all-beef kosher franks",
says Mello, "and hightail it outta here"
He pushes Near in front of him with his paw, as if measuring up something
"Starting to feel that rhythm?"
"Well...errrr...", says Near.
A worker nearby begins to drill into the ground, causing the ground to
shake.
"Yeah, yeah, I feel it!", he grins, "When are we gonna get
those hot-dogs?"
"Right...now"
Mello suddenly starts to bark like a rabid creature, making Near scream and
run off towards Aizawa. Near leaps onto Aizawa for safety, Mello using the diversion
to pull a string of sausages from the cart and wrapping them around his neck.
Mello runs off, Near following after him.
"And cut", says Twarry.
"Why cannae I say cut?", asks Shadow
"You're just hired help", sniffs Twarry
"Am not!", snaps Shadow
"Are so!", snaps Twarry.
Okay, due to increasing hostilities in our cast from being turned into
animals, I'm going to do something never before...I'm calling in a Co Director.
"What! None of the other directors had a 'co' director!", snorts Twarry.
None of the other directors had to deal with an almost all animal cast,
dear.
"Jive Turkey", snaps Twarry, "So who am I supposed to be
working with?"
"Hello...partner!", grins Shadow.
"...You really hate me don't you, Seot?", asks Twarry, "I
mean, you make me suffer all the time!"
Twarreth, I don't hate you...
"Yes you do!", snaps Twarry, "You've always liked the redhead
better, admit it!"
Well, I am MATT Fan.
"I win, you lose, neh neh neh neh neh neh!", chants Matt
"Shut up and get to your place", growls Twarry, "at least she
likes internet Twarry better than manga You. Manga Matt scares the crap out of
her"
"…..You're going to make me cry", sniffles Matt.
ACT 2 - Old Bluey
The next morning, Near is still curled up on the tractor tire when the
tractor suddenly starts up, the wheel moving and hurling Near off
"Argggg!", screams near, "Kitten abuse again!"
Near hides under a Los Angeles Dodgers cap while the tractor drives away,
before peeking out and stepping into the busy Las Vegas morning street. A dude
walks past carrying a stereo, listening to rap music. Near starts to dance
after him, before tripping up. Various Los Angeles residents mill around, not
noticing the small kitten at their feet.
"Am I invisible or something!", asks Near
Near follows a crowd towards a street crossing when screeching tires are
heard and he dashes back across to the sidewalk. He falls down again, almost
being trampled by feet)
"'S'cuse me, can't you see I'm pushing something here?", snaps Aizawa,
walking by pushing a hot dog cart, "Oh man, this is the best role, ever!
Just breathe in all that junk food!"
"….We're going tae end this parody with a very fat detective",
muses Shadow.
"Maybe we can poke him with sticks?", shrugs Twarry.
"Come on folks, step right up! Get your hot dogs", shouts Aizawa,
"The best hot dogs in Los Angles!"
Near sniffs the air and runs over to the cart. Aizawa sees him and shoos him
away
"Hey, get out of here. Shoo! Go on, kitty!", he snaps, "MY
food!"
Near sighs dejectedly and pads away. Meanwhile, on the other side of the
street, Mello is walking along the road, now transformed into a blonde and
white pit bull, wearing a black leather studded harness and a black leather
bandana.
"At least it wasn't a Chihuahua", sighs Mello.
He carries on walking, Takeda, now a little hairy dog, walking past him on a
leash held by Halle. He pauses and jumps onto the top of a taxi cab. He starts
to blow kisses at her
"Hiya", he says flirtatiously.
Takeda stares at him before turning her nose up and trotting off with Halle
"Not a chance, you leather wearing freak!", she says.
"La-de-da", mocks Mello.
He pauses, hearing Aizawa shouting, he turns to see Near hanging onto
Aizawa's leg as he desperately tries to shake him off
"Well well. Looks like Izzy's got a visitor", he says, "Could
be time for the Mel to turn this into a total cat-astrophe."
"Har de har har", says Near dryly, "you are the king of
puns"
"Get offa me, you overgrown rat!", snaps Aizawa, shaking his leg.
"Look who's talking!", snaps Near.
He kicks out his foot, sending Near into a trash can in an alley, causing a
banana peel to fall on his head.
"Oooooh you sure picked the wrong guy to get hot dogs from, kid",
says Mello.
Near shakes the banana skin off and looks up to see Mello lying on top of a
trashcan. He backs away quickly...trying to look fierce
"Get away from me!", he warns, bearing his tiny little kitten
teeth.
"Awww how could anything so cute be fierce?", chuckles Mello,
"Whoah. Chill out, man, I don't eat cats, it's too much fur. I've been
watching you and I think you're in serious need of some professional
guidance"
He jumps off the trashcan and Near falls into a trash can lid. Mello simply
lies down by it casually
"Now what do ya say we team up and change Old Izzy's mind about sharing
some of those hot-dogs?", he grins.
"I'm not going back there again", mutters Near sadly.
He turns to walk away, but Todd swings the trash can lid so he's facing him
again
"Hey. It'd be a snap, kid. I'm an expert at these things", he
says, "All you gotta do is learn some moves"
"...Moves?", asks Near
"You know, tempo. Ooo-cha-ba. A rhythm", says Mello, "This
city's got a beat. Ya gotta hook into it"
"Have you any idea how much like Twarry you're sounding?", asks
Near, arching a brow.
"What's wrong with the way I speak, Jive Turkey!", snaps Twarry
"Case in point", says Near.
"And once you got the beat, you can do anything", says Mello.
"I can?", asks Near hopefully.
"Absitively posolutely", grins Mello.
"...Freak", mutters Near.
Mello heads off down the alley, Near following him. Mello points to where
Aizawa is preparing a hot-dog for someone in the street
"The guy you see before you is affectionately known as 'Old Izzy",
he says, "A well known enemy of the four-legged world"
"Am not!", snaps Aizawa, "I donate to ASPCA!"
"Our mission, cat, is to liberate those all-beef kosher franks",
says Mello, "and hightail it outta here"
He pushes Near in front of him with his paw, as if measuring up something
"Starting to feel that rhythm?"
"Well...errrr...", says Near.
A worker nearby begins to drill into the ground, causing the ground to
shake.
"Yeah, yeah, I feel it!", he grins, "When are we gonna get
those hot-dogs?"
"Right...now"
Mello suddenly starts to bark like a rabid creature, making Near scream and
run off towards Aizawa. Near leaps onto Aizawa for safety, Mello using the diversion
to pull a string of sausages from the cart and wrapping them around his neck.
Mello runs off, Near following after him.
"And cut", says Twarry.
"Why cannae I say cut?", asks Shadow
"You're just hired help", sniffs Twarry
"Am not!", snaps Shadow
"Are so!", snaps Twarry.
Liz- Admin
- Posts : 1438
Join date : 2010-08-16
Age : 25 -
BB+B- Posts : 1425
Join date : 2010-08-16
Re: Raining cats, dogs, and Kira's
by Liz August 18th 2010, 23:50
I will...later. 83 I totally love Mello. His design in my mind is awesome.
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